


The Blind Love Experiment

by LittleSixx



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Bisexual Steve Rogers, F/M, Falling In Love, Good Loki (Marvel), M/M, POV Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29673777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSixx/pseuds/LittleSixx
Summary: "Blind Love Experiment," a new reality show, gives twenty-four men and women the opportunity to fall in love with people they can't see. What will Steve Rogers do when he develops feelings for two people on the other side of the wall?
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 22
Kudos: 28





	1. Group A: Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a SteveTony fic, wrapped in a BuckySam fic, with a Tasertricks bow on top. Based on the show "Love Is Blind," though the nuances are a bit different. This story will be updated sporadically. M rating is mostly for language.

It was stupid.

It was so, incredibly stupid.

And yet Steve was standing there about to be introduced on the latest and greatest dating show. _Blind Love Experiment_ was billed as “the most inventive dating experience on modern television” because contestants would get to know each other without _seeing_ each other. Steve thought it sounded like an extremely long version of The Dating Game.

When they were kids, it was Steve who had done all sorts of stupid things and Bucky was the one standing at his side shaking his head. Steve didn’t know when the dynamic shifted, but when Bucky signed up for this experience he asked Steve to come along.

“Stevie.”

He’d batted his long eyelashes and pouted until Steve asked what idiotic mess he’d gotten himself into.

“It’s been so hard trying to date since ...”

_Since._

There was never any need to say what happened. They’d each been through enough therapy, their friendship did not need to revolve around the worst part of their lives.

“... I thought maybe if somebody didn’t know I only had one arm—”

“You have two arms now, Buck.”

“Right, but one of ‘em’s metal and it freaks people out. I thought maybe if they couldn’t see me at first, just got to know me as myself, maybe they’ll overlook the arm.”

Steve had sighed, put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and said,

“I know you didn’t think I’d let you do this on your own. I’m coming with ya, Buck. I’m with you to the end of the line.”

And, boy, did he ever wish this was the end. Steve looked around the room, with four manned cameras positioned along the perimeter and seemingly all trained in his direction. Their apartment was modern, nicely-furnished, and the fridge was well-stocked. (It was the first thing he checked.) The set was, in a word, impersonal. But for the next however many days, Steve would need to make it a second home.

Bucky was excited. Not in any way the cameras could pick up, he was too still for that, but Steve knew him well enough to see it. He’d been burned so many times on all the dating apps; Bumble, Tinder, and even joined Silver Singles as a joke. 

There were maybe a dozen people in total, meaning there must be a dozen people on the other side of the building. For a brief moment, Steve allowed himself to wonder whether there was someone in that group he could spend his life with. He shook the thought away. Thirty-plus years of bad luck and worse luck on the dating scene had taught him to set expectations on the floor.

Before he could think on it any more, the door opened to reveal a very thin blond woman in a too-tight dress who was vaguely familiar to Steve. She smiled a phony television smile and stopped in front of the group to address them.

“Hello, everyone! My name is Christine Everheart and welcome to the _Blind Love Experiment_! Here, you will choose someone to date. Find someone to love without ever seeing them, and see where it leads. Is emotional connection the key to success in a long-term relationship? How big of a part does physical attraction play?”

A rumble of muttered thoughts filtered throughout the room, none of it discernable. The noise did not seem to bother Ms. Everheart as she plowed right along.

“In this place, your relationships will begin as you form an intimate bond with nothing to distract you. Love comes in many forms, and you may find yourself building up a community on both sides of the wall. While you may find friends, the goal is to find a _partner_. We have split you into two groups. Over the next thirty days all of you, Group A, will live on this side of the house. Group B will live on the other side. You will go through a stream of potential love interests and the only way you interact will be through one of our pods. You will be separated by one thin wall.”

The cameras all panned to get various reaction shots. Steve kept his face a neutral mask, hoping he wasn’t interesting enough to become a focus.

“Ultimately, all the decisions are your own. You choose the people you want to spend time with, and once you determine who is _your_ person, if they accept ... _Then_ you will get to see your beau for the very first time.”

Various contestants nodded and smiled.

“Today, you will spend five minutes with each of the participants on Side B. Write down which people you want to see again, and if they put your name down as well the two of you will get more time tomorrow. How you spend your time, and with _whom_ you spend that time is up to you.” She paused for effect. “If you’re ready to find the love of your life, then walk through those doors,” she pointed to the set of doors across the room, “because the pods are now open!”

The cameras followed the first rush of people toward the door, about half of them, but Steve and Bucky hung back from the crowd. He surveyed each of the other four who meandered more slowly toward the doors. The biggest guy, Thor, introduced himself to everyone when he walked in. He’d shaken Steve’s hand then Bucky’s and didn’t pay any mind to the metal arm.

“Greetings! I am Thor and this is my brother, Loki. We hail from the country of Asgard and are blessed to be here with you in the forenoon.”

“Great,” Bucky grumbled, “another morning person.”

“Verily!” Thor had shouted before moving onto the next person. 

Loki seemed to be the only person who wanted to be there less than Steve. He spent the entire introduction curled up into a chair. As if he hoped, given enough time, he would _become_ the chair. He had long, dark hair and wore black from shoulder to toe. There was a woman with red hair in a blouse and pencil skirt who looked like she should be the CEO of a Fortune 500. The shorter blond man had snuck a bow and arrow into his luggage. 

It would be a long thirty days. 

Bucky nudged Steve’s shoulder and asked, “You ready for this?”

“It’s summer. If I wasn’t here, I’d be at my place in Brooklyn.” Steve shrugged. “This has free food.”

He was the last one through the doors. Christine Everheart eyed him from off-camera in a way that made Steve’s skin crawl. He shuddered. Good lord, this place was creepy. He stood in front of the door marked twelve and took a deep breath in. Steve closed his eyes and tried to figure out what his ma would have to say about this. Probably something along the lines of,

“Steve, you’ve always fallen for people because of their heart. The only difference is that now there are cameras.”

He exhaled slowly and grumbled, “Yeah, ma, now there’s cameras.”

Steve opened the door to reveal a space about ten feet square with a sturdy couch in the middle. It was facing a textured blue wall, and Steve assumed his first date was sitting on the other side. He closed the door and after it clicked shut a disembodied male voice asked,

“Hello?”

Steve smoothed out his shirt then made his way over to the couch. He stared at the blue wall and said,

“Hi, there.”

“Hey, man, I’m Sam.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam. I’m Steve.”

“Steve? Hah, they’re starting me out with classic white bread. Tell me, should I call you Pepperidge Farm or Sara Lee?”

“Hmm ...” Steve muttered. He noticed a plain black notebook and a pen sitting on the footstool in front of him. They were meant to take notes? “Y’know, Sam, I think I’d be more Iron Kids because—”

“It’s the bread everyone can agree on!” Sam laughed.

Steve could almost picture a shadowy figure shaking his head.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“I like you.”

Steve smiled to himself. It had been a good long while since anyone had laughed at one of his jokes.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Sam. Where are you from?”

“Harlem. You?”

“Brooklyn!”

“Fantastic, man. So why did you come here?”

“You mean, why am I on a reality show that involves the possibility of me falling in love with someone I can’t see?”

“Hey, we’re both looking like idiots talking to walls right now.”

Steve chuckled.

“My best friend, Bucky, I suppose you’ll meet him later. Buck hasn’t had great success on the dating scene since he got outta the army, so he signed up for this nonsense. And I couldn’t let him go it alone. So ... I’m here, and I am open to the idea of it.”

“But you don’t think you’re gonna find anybody.”

“Nah, can’t say I do. But I’m hoping Buck does find somebody, he’s got a lot of stuff that he’s worked through. Now that things are finally lining up, I think he is ready to share it with someone.”

“You two never thought about giving it a try?”

“We both thought about it, I think. At some point you have to be willing to risk your friendship and neither of us wanted to do that. Plus, when we entered the army it wasn’t something we could do.”

“You’re Army?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Air Force!”

“No way.”

“Yes, Sara Lee, good lord. I just got out two weeks ago. It’s been strange so far, trying to acclimate.”

“Pillow’s too soft?” guessed Steve.

“Like sleeping on a goddamn marshmallow.”

“It gets better. I’ll tell you, though, right after I got back I slept on the floor for months.”

“I might give that a go.”

“So what are you looking for in a date, Sam?”

“Gluten free.”

Steve laughed. He opened the notebook and wrote SAM at the top of the first page. On the first line, he wrote, “Friend.”

“Nah, man, I think that I’m looking for somebody patient. Somebody who understands that I live life a certain way and have no idea what I’m doing with my life right now. Someone that I can live with, and someone I can take home to my momma because she never stops asking, ‘Sammy, when are you going to give me grandbabies like your sister?’ So what are you looking for, Steve?”

“I don’t really know. I’ve had my fair share of what _doesn’t_ work, not a lot of experience with what does. All I know is that I need somebody whose heart is in the right place.”

“As much as I’d like to think we’d match up, first come first served, I gotta say I don’t feel it, Steve.”

“Me neither.” Steve smiled at the blue wall and tried not to feel like an idiot. “But, hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“I’d really like to talk to you again, you know, as a friend. I haven’t had much of those lately, either.”

“Absolutely, Steve. See you tomorrow.”

“Nice talking to you, Sam.”

**.oOo.**

Bucky pulled the door shut behind him and grumbled, “Tiny ass room.”

“Hey there, stranger.”

That voice came from the other side of the glowing blue wall. He assumed he was meant to sit on the couch and ... talk? To the wall? This wasn’t the stupidest idea he ever had, but it was up there. Bucky hopped over the back of the couch and landed with a soft thud on the middle cushion.

“Hello.” Bucky sat up straight, not as comfortable as he thought he would be. “Sorry, I’m adjusting. Not a fan of tight, enclosed spaces.”

“Boy, did you pick the wrong place to be.”

Bucky laughed. It was a woman on the other side of the wall, one with practiced diction. The sort who learned English as a skill. He asked,

“So where are you from?”

“I live in New York.”

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed. “You didn’t answer the question.”

“Didn’t I?” she challenged.

“You’re not American.”

“You’re a presumptuous ass.”

“Maybe,” Bucky said, “but I’m right.”

“And if I said you were?”

“I’d ask where you grew up.”

She snapped back, “это не твое дело.”

“I think it _is_ my business if we are trying to get to know each other.”

That appeared to give her a moment’s pause. In Russian, he added,

“My mother raised us with the language.”

There was a long pause on the other side of the wall before she spoke again.

“I grew up in Russia; it is my mother tongue. I spent the past three years as a principal dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet, and now I perform in the New York City Ballet. That is why I am in New York. You haven’t told me where you’re from.”

“For the love of God,” one of the producers shouted from behind the right wall, “will the two of you please speak in English?! We have to _pay_ for translators!”

Bucky and the woman on the other side simultaneously shouted, “ZATKNEET!”

He smiled at the glowing blue wall. Perhaps this wasn’t quite as ridiculous a notion as he’d begun to believe. The producers mumbled,

“What does that mean? What _the hell_ does that mean?”

Bucky continued to speak in Russian, mostly out of spite.

“I grew up in Brooklyn, joined the army to travel the world, did that, and my ass ended up right back in Brooklyn. You know, it’s home. I’ll always end up there.”

“No,” she said, “I don’t know.”

“Are you searching for a date, then, or are you searching for a home?”

“I can get a date anywhere, soldier.”

Bucky nodded, then felt foolish for it. It’s not as if this mystery woman could see him. He laced his fingers together and warily eyed the camera in the upper-right corner. He revealed,

“I used to have that skill.”

“Used to?”

“That’s a story for another day.”

“Will we have another day together?” she teased.

“That’s all up to you; I sure as hell want to talk to you again. Can’t imagine I am going to get a conversation more interesting than a Russian ballerina. Guess this place started me out right, after all.”

“Alright, soldier,” he could hear the teasing notes in her voice, “I will give you another day.”

Bucky pumped his fist in the air.

“Yes!”

“Tell me your name before you go?”

“Джеймс.” He smiled. “You can call me James. What should I write down in my notebook for you?”

“Will you draw little hearts around it?”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

She laughed.

“At home they call me Natalia, but here I go by Natasha.”

Bucky nodded. He grabbed the black notebook and pen that had been staring up at him from the footstool, then wrote Natalia at the top of the first page. No hearts.

“Then I’ll be seeing you, _Natalia._ ”

He heard her say, “Джеймс,” just before the door clicked shut on the other side. Bucky smiled to himself as he left the room. Perhaps this could work, after all.

**.oOo.**

Pepper Potts stepped into the tiny room and glared at the camera in the right corner of the room. The things she did for her boss. She smoothed out her skirt and sat on the couch. She felt ridiculous staring at the blue wall, but Tony had so many blue holograms down in the workshop it wasn’t an entirely foreign concept. She hesitantly asked,

“Hello?”

One brief moment of pause.

“Pep?” a confused voice sounded from the other side of the wall. “PEP?!”

She sighed. Of course they would be paired together first.

“Hi, Tony.”

“Pep, what the hell are you doing here?!”

“You didn’t honestly believe I would let you do this alone, did you?”

“Yes, seeing as I am a grown adult—”

“That is debatable at the best of times.”

“Okay, fine, but this is an experiment I am interested in! The idea of falling in love without seeing someone’s face? Think about it, there are a dozen potential conclusions for each of us! Well, eleven, since we already know how our relationship would end.”

“Felony destruction of property.”

“I want on the record that was you and not me.”

“Tony,” Pepper sighed, “I want you to be happy. Maybe you will find someone you like, but try not to put your heart too far out there. Someone might break it.”

“If they do, then I’ll fix it. That’s what I do, Pep, I fix things.”

“Promise me you won’t go fixing it with copious amounts of alcohol.”

“I promise to fix any broken hearts with a perfectly reasonable amount of alcohol.”

Pepper let her head fall into her hands.

“You are exhausting.”

“Most people just say ‘charming.’”

“Have you gotten to know any of the contestants on your side?”

“We only had like five minutes together. There is a terrifyingly attractive woman over here who looks like she could kill me. More than one of them, actually.”

“Perhaps you ended up on the wrong side, then?”

“No.” Tony insisted, “I don’t want my usual type for this. I’m looking to settle down, Pep. Have a family, maybe ... I don’t know. I don’t want to think too far ahead, but right now, when I look at my future I am alone. I want there to be a future where I don’t feel that way.”

Pepper’s heart ached for him. He wanted someone to share life with and she wished she could be that for him. 

“I believe in you, Tony.”

She stood up to leave, but Tony shouted after her.

“Pep?!”

“Yes?”

“If I’m here, and you’re here, who is running the company?”

“Riri.”

She could almost see Tony’s eyes popping out of his head.

“You left the _intern_ in charge of my company?!”

“She is more than an intern.”

“She is _twenty!_ ”

“So were you.”

Pepper left before he could say another word.

**.oOo.**

Steve stepped out of the room and saw Bucky leave the door to his right. He walked to his friend and raised his eyebrows at the gleeful expression on Bucky’s face.

“This girl is Russian!” Bucky exclaimed. “I think I might have found my date on the first go. Is that insane?”

“Yes,” replied Steve, “but not nearly as crazy as some of the things we’ve done.”

“Fair point.”

Steve walked down to Door #1, notebook in hand. Most everyone seemed to be interesting enough, but nobody got his heart racing. There was a man named Reed, Sue, Carol, and a man named Bruce. They were all fine. The more doors Steve walked through, the more he acclimated. 

He walked out of Door #5 feeling a bit different. His conversation in there left him feeling ... different. It wasn’t butterflies, exactly, but Anthony had left some kind of impression on Steve. Of all six people he’d spoken to, Anthony was the one he had to see again. There was just something about him, something familiar and yet so interesting.

Steve would have been satisfied with one potential match. Something to keep him around for a few days, perhaps longer. He realized he was in trouble during his time in Room #8. He’d walked in and it was exactly the same as the previous eight times he’d walked through a door. Same couch, same footstool, same strange blue wall.

Before Steve’s backside so much as touched the couch, a woman’s voice sounded from the other room.

“My name is Peggy, I work in intelligence, I do kickboxing as a hobby, and I am hoping to God you have some interesting questions for me, otherwise there is a decent chance my head will explode.”

Steve Rogers was a grown man. Steve Rogers was approaching forty years old. Steve Rogers had been through war, and yet all he managed to say was,

“You’re English?”

He wanted to throw himself out the nearest window.

“Brilliant deduction.”

“Sorry, I guess this has been a bit repetitive for you?”

“You are two for two.”

“Batting a thousand,” Steve muttered, “nice. So why did you come here, Peggy?”

“Love. And you?”

“My best friend wanted to come, and I wasn’t going to let him do this alone. Love is hard enough when you have a support system. Couldn’t have him trying to find his person with no one but eleven random people for support.”

“How kind of you.” Peggy sounded like she meant it. “You seem like a very loyal friend.”

If she only knew.

“If you’re not loyal to the people you can count on, then I don’t see much point in anything. If there’s one thing I learned in the army, it’s that there is so much chaos in the world, you have to count on others to have your back. You need to earn that trust, and you earn it by having their back even when it ain’t easy.” Steve shrugged. “So I think he’d say I am a loyal friend.”

“Yes,” he could hear a slight smile in her voice, “yes, I agree. I believe you need friends you can trust to help you survive in this world. You said you were in the army?”

“Yes, ma’am, Captain Steve Rogers.” He winced. “Are we not meant to reveal our surnames? I’m not quite clear on the rules.”

“It’s alright,” Peggy reassured him. “I was in the army in England.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes, for a time. After awhile I no longer believed that fight was worth fighting. There was work to be done elsewhere.”

“And you take pride in your work?”

“Of course. If it isn’t worth doing then I won’t waste my time doing it.”

Steve wondered, “Is that why you joined the army? You thought it was worth doing?”

Peggy paused for a long while. Long enough for Steve to wonder if he had said something wrong, somehow stuck his foot in his mouth again. Eventually Peggy said,

“I was due to be married once. My brother was the only person who ever told me I was making a mistake. He knew who I was, that the path I was on would lead me somewhere I couldn’t be happy. He always said, ‘Peggy, you want a lifetime of adventure.’”

“He sounds like a good brother.”

“He was until he died.”

“Oh, goodness, I am so sorry, Peggy.”

“No, no, I was sad. There will always be something missing from my life, but when he died I realized he was right. I wanted adventure, so I joined the army and eventually MI5. I am not ready to give up on having adventures, but now I want someone to experience them with me.”

Steve nodded.

“I lost my ma at sixteen. My dad died when I was almost too little to remember, but ma was my rock. I’d get the shit kicked outta me in some back alley for not backing down from a fight with a guy twice my size. Back at home, ma would patch me up and tell me to be careful, but if I was standing up for what’s right then it is important that I _always_ stand up.” He took a deep, slow breath. “I still hear her voice in my head sometimes when I need it. Like right now, she’d be smacking me upside the head for saying ‘shit’ on the first date.”

Peggy laughed.

“I joined the army because I didn’t have much other option, and I thought it was what she’d’ve wanted me to do. So I know exactly where you’re coming from.”

“It sounds like you do,” Peggy agreed. “Will I see you tomorrow, then?”

Steve blushed.

“I’d like that.”

**.oOo.**

After all twelve dates were finished, everyone began making themselves lunch. Two groups formed, one over on the sofas and another at the round table by the windows. Steve chose the table because his ma taught him you don’t eat off your lap in front of people. He placed his plate on the table, sat down his bottle of water, and asked,

“Is it alright if I sit here?”

Thor grinned and smacked the table hard enough to shake it.

“Indeed, my good Steven! Bring your friend James as well, so we may discuss our hour in the love capsules.”

Steve choked back a laugh and kept the amusement off his face. _Love capsules._ He’d watch the hell out of that show. He waved Bucky over and soon enough they had a table of six. The man with the bow and arrow in his luggage introduced himself as Clint.

“So,” he asked through a mouthful of sandwich, “what brought all of you here?”

“I’m an ex-POW with a metal arm,” Bucky said, “tends to scare off just about everyone. Nobody sticks around long enough to get to know me, but this solves the problem.”

Loki slumped low in his seat and said, “Some of us were dragged here against our will.”

“My brother is joking, of course,” insisted Thor. “Our parents are very influential in government and would like at least one of their sons to settle down.”

The redheaded woman, who introduced herself as Pepper, asked, “Where are you from, exactly?”

“The ancient nation of Asgard! It is an island south of Sweden and Finland, west of Latvia as the crow flies.”

Steve liked him. Thor seemed like a genuinely happy person, with four empty Pop-Tart wrappers in front of him on the table. He was at least six-four, massive, and had a booming laugh that sounded throughout the room. A complete contrast to Loki, whose frown never seemed to leave his face. Steve revealed,

“I am here because Buck’s here.”

“My ... _friend_ is in the other group,” said Pepper. “What about you, Clint?”

“I’m in the circus.” He shrugged. “Looking for someone a little less traumatized than my usual dates, but preferably just as bendy.” 

Bucky snorted with laughter. He asked,

“Did you have any success?”

“There was one woman I liked. Scared the hell out of me, though.”

Steve watched the color begin to leave Bucky’s face. That was the problem for Bucky; he never considered it a true possibility he could find someone. Sure, there was the thought he might, but it hadn’t seemed real until he stepped into the pod and found a great gal. But without the true possibility of a match, Buck also hadn’t prepared for competition.

“Natalia?”

“Yeah, man. You liked her, too?”

Bucky nodded.

“Pretty sure she was cursing at me in Russian, but she made me laugh,” Clint said. “I liked that. Liked her voice.”

“The producers weren’t happy when they realized our conversations will be in Russian. Several hours of paying for translators they didn’t expect to need.”

Clint chuckled.

“Hey, fuck ‘em over any way you want. They’re profiting off our desperate asses, might as well screw with them while we’re at it.”

Loki sat up and insisted, “I am _not_ desperate.”

“Man, I’ve seen McDonald’s deep fryers with less grease than your hair.”

“Hah!” Thor laughed. “That’s funny.” He nudged Loki’s shoulder and asked, “Isn’t that funny?”

Loki glared at him, which only made Thor laugh harder.

“I did find someone.” Loki sat up straight. “I think I like her.”

“Yes!” shouted Thor. “Who was it, brother? Was it one of the scientists, or did you fall for the ballerina, too?”

“None of them. It was a fascinating woman; we had a delightful conversation.”

Clint asked, “Which one? I’ll have to warn her.”

Loki pretended not to have heard him.

Pepper guessed, “I bet it was Darcy.”

Loki’s silence was confirmation enough.

“She seemed to be quite the chaotic mess,” said Pepper. “It might be a workable match for you.”

“What about you, Stevie?” Bucky asked. “Did you find anybody?”

“I did.” Steve felt himself blush. “Two, even.”

“Wow.”

“I know. I started out with this one man, his name was Sam—”

Bucky angrily stabbed a bit of broccoli on his plate and grumbled, “Fuckin’ asshole.”

“I liked him well enough,” said Pepper, “but only as a friend.”

“The same for me,” replied Thor. “He seems like a good friend.”

“It wasn’t working for me,” said Steve. “However, I had a fantastic conversation with Anthony.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he laughed.

“No way. I don’t believe you.”

“Yeah, I did, Buck. It was nice. _He_ was really nice. He was smooth, almost too smooth, but not like he practiced. Almost like he’s used to deflecting the conversation away from himself. He kept asking me questions about me, giving me answers to my questions that weren’t really what I was looking for. I want to get to know him. That’s all I can say.”

Pepper nodded.

“He is going to love you.”

Steve asked, “Do you know him?”

“Very, very well,” she replied with a laugh. “Well enough to know that he will try to push you away as hard as he can. Don’t let him do it.”

Steve nodded.

“He seemed like the sort of man who keeps people at a distance until he knows he can trust them. I don’t know why I want to see him again, exactly, but there’s something about him.”

“He is magnetic.”

“It’s more than that. But then I met Peggy and—”

“I knew you were a worthy competitor, Steven!” Thor laughed again. God, he laughed a lot and it was great to be around someone so free with their emotions. That boundless enthusiasm reminded Steve of the kids in his class. “I, too, intend to see Margaret again.”

“Margaret?”

“She seems like someone who wants adventure. I believe I can give it to her.”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled halfheartedly down at his plate and said, “You do that, buddy.”

“Fret not, my friend, I am confident enough in her heart to believe she will make the right decision. Whatever it may be.”

Steve unscrewed the cap of his water bottle and admitted,

“I don’t know if I am as confident in myself.”


	2. Group B: Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds his person, then finds out there may be competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue in this one and it moves very quickly. Hope you enjoy it!

Tony tugged on the collar of his t-shirt and ran his fingers through his hair.

He’d done this enough times in his life, sat for more interviews than could be expected of anyone outside of Hollywood or Washington. Tony had somehow still made headlines for both press corps. The producers had him on the world’s most uncomfortable stool in front of a giant greenscreen.

“If I’d known the stool would get this personal, I would have bought it dinner first.” Tony paused as the production team laughed. Good God, these people were too easily pleased. Then again, he was bringing their show an incredible amount of hype, and maybe they were just enabling him. Tony’d had his fair share of that, too. “Seriously, who do I need to bribe to get a cushion?”

The production assistant flashed a smile at Tony. Was it genuine? Tony supposed it didn’t matter, he was little more than clickbait for them.

“Mr. Stark, let me say again how grateful we are that you agreed to participate in the show. We all have nothing but respect and admiration for you.”

Bullshit.

“I am going to ask you a few questions for your intro edit. Just ... be yourself.”

Tony nodded and said, “Let’s do it.”

“First, if you could tell us your name and career.”

“Is this where I get to pick what you use for my onscreen label? I’ve been bouncing between ‘Subatomic Particle Overlord’ and ‘Professional Snuggler.’”

The PA flashed him another tight smile.

“We will take that under advisement.”

“Right, yes. My name is Tony Stark and I am a self-employed inventor.”

“Excellent. Now, tell us why you decided to participate in the _Blind Love Experiment._ ”

Tony shrugged, like he hadn’t agonized over the answer.

“I am a scientist. My hypothesis is that true love is blind, that physical attraction is secondary. This is the only way to test that theory.”

“What type of person are you looking for in a partner?”

“A lot of things, you know? Somebody who laughs at my jokes and sees more of me than my money.”

The PA rolled his eyes and asked, “Can you go a bit deeper?”

Tony supposed he could give them one moment of honesty.

“I live my life in front of cameras, under a media microscope. Privacy is a luxury I don’t have. You want to know what I’m looking for? I want someone I trust. I want to be with someone who is happy to come home to me. Not sure why I thought a reality show was the place to meet a stable love interest, but I had to try.”

“Do you think you will find someone here?”

“Look, if I treated this like a real experiment then I’d say I am keeping every possibility open. But the truth is that I know how hard it is to love someone like me. So I doubt that you managed to find someone when I have spent almost fifty years looking.”

**.oOo.**

“Are you sure you want to wear that?”

Darcy had worn a giant tan onesie with the body and hood shaped like a chicken. She raised an eyebrow.

“I have to sit on a couch for hours every day to potentially fall in love with a person who can’t see me, and you think I’m gonna dress up?” She smacked her lips together and said, “Nope.”

“Can you at least take the hood off?”

“Why? If I take it off, they won’t be able to tell that I’m such a _hot chick_.”

She was met with crickets from the production crew.

“Nothing?”

The production assistant flashed Darcy a tight smile, so she pushed her hood back and fluffed out her hair.

“I am going to ask you a few questions for your intro edit. Just be yourself.”

“Shoot.”

“First off, tell us your name and career.”

“I’m Darcy Lewis, Chief of Staff to a member of the US House of Representatives.”

“Why did you decide to participate in _The Blind Love Experiment?_ ”

“Rent in DC is insane and I’m between apartments. My whole life fits into a suitcase and this show has free food.”

“Tell us what you’re looking for in a partner.”

Darcy adjusted her butt on the stool.

“Truth is, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I spend every single day around slippery politicians and good ol’ boys. So ... not that.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to find that here?”

“Look, mister, where I’m at in DC is a nonstop reality show where a bunch of old, shady, unattractive people run the world. I’m not finding anybody there, so these men can’t be much worse than the options I already have.”

**.oOo.**

Sam sat up straight and answered every question with a toothy grin.

“Tell us your name and what you do.”

“Sam Wilson, Air Force Veteran.”

As though “veteran” was somehow an occupation. More like, “I have no clue what I’m doing with my life so that’s why I ended up on a reality show filming three thousand miles away from where I live.” Because Sam was not ready to go home. He didn’t say any of that, just flashed them an easy smile.

“Why did you sign up for _The Blind Love Experiment_?”

“Boredom?” Sam guessed. “I’m at the point in my life when I don’t have much to do. The rest of my life is in transition, might as well give this a go.”

“Do you think you will find a partner?”

“I’ve got no idea. I’m not getting shot at and hopefully I can find somebody who can see past the question marks in my life.”

**.oOo.**

Natasha perched herself on the stool and glanced at the camera in front of her, then at the one on the left. The production team seemed to be standing just a bit further back than was necessary. She was satisfied that they would leave her alone. The PA said,

“Tell us your name and occupation.”

Natasha said, in carefully practiced English, “Natasha Romanoff. Ballerina.”

“Why did you sign up for _The Blind Love Experiment_?”

“Being a ballerina attracts attention. I want someone to concentrate on what is below the surface.”

“Do you believe you will find a partner?”

“No, but I will try.” She paused before asking, “Are we finished?”

“Yes.” The PA nodded repeatedly. “Yes, you may go.”

**.oOo.**

Peggy finished applying her lipstick then snapped her mirror shut. She placed the bullet cap on her lipstick and winked at the camera on the left. She stuffed the lipstick and her compact down the leg of her boot.

“Can’t believe I came all the way to LA and won’t get any sunshine.”

“You can go outside,” replied the PA. “This is reality TV, not a prison.”

“Potato, potato.”

“You just said ‘potato’ twice.”

“You’re a bright one, aren’t you?” Peggy asked, sardonically. “Then again, I am the one who signed up for this.”

“Right.” The PA shifted awkwardly and adjusted his headset. “We’d like to ask you a few questions for your intro edit.”

“Carry on, then.”

“Please tell us your name and your occupation.”

“My name is Peggy Carter and I am a lawyer for MI5.”

“Why did you choose to join the _Blind Love Experiment_?”

“Because it’s quite difficult to get a straight answer out of people nowadays. Whatever happened to a nice cup of tea and a civilized interrogation?”

“How very British Intelligence of you.”

Peggy frowned.

“You have a sad moustache.”

“It’s not _sad_ ,” snapped the PA. He adjusted his headset. “It is a work in progress. Do you think you will find a partner through this process?”

“Honestly, I could find a partner for myself. Men seem to perceive my appearance first and make presumptions, then tend to be intimidated when they hear ‘lawyer’ and ‘MI5’ in the same sentence. I know my value, and this is a better way for them to see it, too.”

**.oOo.**

“Friends!”

Tony walked out of the interview room to see the remaining eleven participants dispersed throughout the room. Somehow, all the cameras seemed to be pointed in his direction. Bruce Banner and Reed Richards were huddled together by the wall of windows.

“Tony?” Reed asked, not bothering to hide his surprise.

Tony clapped him on the shoulder and grinned.

“Didn’t expect to see you here. Or you, Dr. Banner! Your work on anti-electron particle collisions is unparalleled.”

Banner smiled sheepishly.

“Thank you.”

“I think we all saw the words ‘love’ and ‘experiment’ then couldn’t resist,” said Reed.

Tony took a moment to survey the remaining participants. Contestants? At any rate, he immediately locked eyes with a redhead sitting cross-legged in one of the armchairs. She had dropped her shoes on the floor and sat with her back ramrod-straight. She was carrying on a conversation with another woman in her mid-thirties, looking like exactly the kind of trouble Tony was used to.

He wasn’t there for trouble.

Before he could give it any more thought, one of the last people he ever wanted to see walked through the door.

“Welcome, everyone!”

Tony groaned. Christine Everheart was a former _Vanity Fair_ reporter, turned television host, whom he had slept with. Once. That was a one-time, one-way street. She was wearing a dress that was a bit too tight and heels that were too tall. She began with a brief introduction of the rules and the intent. Build a community, but look for a partner.

“Today, you will spend five minutes with each of the participants on Side A. Write down which people you want to see again, and if they put your name down as well the two of you will have more time together tomorrow. How you spend your time is up to you.” She paused for effect. “If you’re ready to find the love of your life, then walk through those doors,” she pointed to the set of doors across the room, “because the pods are now open!”

Tony turned to Reed and Bruce. He asked,

“Shall we?”

Reed nodded.

“Let’s go.”

Tony studiously avoided Christine Everheart’s gaze as he made his way over to the doors. He chose Door #6 because it was closest. He flung himself through the door and pulled it shut behind him.

He stepped back and surveyed the space. It must’ve been ten feet by ten feet. Small, but bigger than his room in the Hindu Kush. The sofa was a lilac color meant to complement the glowing blue wall in front of Tony. He walked forward to place his open palm against the wall. Could it be that the love of his life would be on the other side?

Then again, love had always been the slightest bit out of Tony’s reach.

He plopped onto the sofa and leaned back. Tony closed his eyes and waited until he heard the first voice on the other side. Then he shot straight up and shouted,

“PEP?!”

**.oOo.**

Sam liked Steve. Sam _really_ wished he could like Steve in the way this show wanted him to like Steve. But he had to be honest with himself and it wasn’t there. Part of Sam wondered whether it was too soon. Whether he could ever move on from Riley.

He heard the door open on the other side, and wished he had been in the group that changed rooms. Sitting there built up the anticipation; he had nothing to do but wonder who would walk in. Would it be a man or a woman? Were they looking for a broken-hearted Black vet whose future was nothing but a question mark? The male voice came from the other side of the wall.

“Hello?”

“Hey. My name’s Sam, I am a veteran as of two weeks ago, and I make the best blueberry cobbler you’ll ever eat.” He paused. “I’m still working out my elevator pitch. Figure I might have it down by contestant number eleven.”

The man teased, “It could use a little work.”

“Alright, what’ve you got, then?”

“James, Army veteran as of about five years ago, and I work at an animal shelter in Brooklyn. If you’re looking to adopt a dog, cat, or the occasional iguana then I’m your man.”

Sam chuckled.

“What did they call you in the army, Charles Darwin?”

“Winter Soldier, actually. That was, um, what the soldiers in my unit called me.”

“You’ve got an Elsa vibe going on, then?”

“My friends call me Bucky, but Elsa’s a new one. Not sure that’s gonna stick.”

“So you’re Bucky?” Sam hummed. “I just met your boy, Steve. Can’t believe you dragged him into this.”

“Hey!” the voice shouted. “Don’t say shit like that. I didn’t drag him into anything.”

Sam held his hands up and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“I dragged Steve into a lot of things in the Army, lotsa pain I wish I could take back. But I would follow Steve anywhere and he would do exactly the same for me. That’s what love is, that’s what _family_ is. But he’s in my life because he has always been there. I want a partner who _chooses_ to be in my life.”

“Hey, man, I get it.”

“See, but that’s just it, you _can’t_. The POW medal, the Purple Heart, the puke-green Army t-shirt ... all of that shit means nothing. It will fade with time, it’s nothing more than recognition of the pain. Sam, I have exactly three things to my name: a high school diploma, one good arm, and an honorable discharge.”

Sam allowed that to resonate for a few moments. There was obviously a lot of pain and insecurity on the other side of the wall. Any normal, sane person would have snapped their notebook shut and chosen not to pursue anything. It sounded like Bucky had tried to deal with his issues in some ways, but bits of it lingered.

“We might have just met, but I can tell there is more to you than that.”

He heard Bucky scoff.

“I just met this great gal next door, Natalia. She’s a Russian ballerina and she made me laugh. Challenged me. I liked that, but d’you know what my first thought was?”

“You thought it was too good.”

“Exactly. It was too good. And years of therapy later, I know that feeling is never going away. I need to have somebody who understands I need constant reassurance that I am good enough to be loved. That there is value in being James Barnes. I always seem to fall so hard in life, and I tend to drag people down with me when I do.”

Sam licked his lips and said,

“Look, our time is almost up today, so I’m gonna make this quick. I was in the Air Force and I lost my wingman. Somebody just blew him outta the sky right in front of me. The thing you and Steve have? I had it, too, and I fuckin’ lost it. All that guilt and inadequacy you’re talking about? It built up inside of me, too, Barnes, and it suffocates you. So you can say a lot of things to me, but never assume I don’t understand that kind of pain.”

He could almost hear sympathy in Bucky’s voice when he spoke again. _Almost._

“I believe you, and I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Thanks, man.”

“So ... Will I see you tomorrow?”

Sam barked out a laugh.

“You ain’t seeing shit, Barnes.”

“You’re right.” Sam heard the teasing tone in Barnes’s voice. “I am definitely not going to see you tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t.”

He heard Bucky sigh from the other side of the wall.

“I hate you so much right now.”

“That’s not healthy, Elsa, you should let it go.”

**.oOo.**

Darcy was in a tiny room about the size of her first cubicle on the Hill. She sat on the couch and nestled her legs underneath her. She pulled up the chicken-shaped hood and tugged on the beak for luck.

After the first five duds, Darcy wondered whether she would find someone. Maybe Washington wasn’t the problem; perhaps _she_ was the problem. God, that was a depressing notion. She wasn’t always wearing a onesie and hunting for opportunities in reality television. Darcy heard the door open then close on the other side, and then ...

Nothing.

“Hello?” she asked.

Nothing again.

“Not much of a talker, huh?” Darcy shrugged. “I can talk enough for two people.”

Still nothing.

“Right, my name is Darcy and I work on Capitol Hill for a senior congressman. He’s great, I really like him. He’s got a good heart, you know? I wouldn’t work for anyone else. I’m a big believer in working for people you believe in. If I was going to follow the money I’d be on K Street, but that idea made me feel really shitty. Like, _really_ shitty. What’s the point of having all the fancy clothes and purses if you hate who you are on the inside?”

Darcy shuddered.

“Not that I don’t like nice things, because I do, but ... The world sucks so much, I don’t want to suck with it.” She frowned. “That came out wrong.”

Garbled laughter filtered through the wall. As if whomever was over there hadn’t meant to make noise, but couldn’t hold back.

“Maybe ‘my job is stressful and I have no money’ isn’t the best sales pitch. What else can I tell you in five minutes to make me sound super appealing?” Darcy hummed to herself. “I have a master’s degree in public policy. Definitely a cat person, but none of the apartments I’ve had in DC have permitted pets. I believe in aliens. My favorite movie is _Moulin Rouge_.”

Darcy shrugged.

“You’re probably wondering why I signed up for the show. I’ve been telling everyone I want to date from outside DC, but the truth is that I’m not happy where I am. I want someone to kind of show me a way to be happy. Like, I mean, I love my job, but when I go home it’s like ... What am I doing? Who am I outside of work? I don’t have friends, really, just coworkers and the Starbucks baristas. For fuck’s sake, I’m sitting here in a onesie shaped like a chicken!”

There was a brief pause.

“So you like cock?”

Darcy snickered.

“Of everything ...” She shook her head and felt herself blush. “Yes, I like cock.”

“Good news for me, then.”

The voice was male and deliberate with an English accent.

“You want to tell me something about yourself, then?”

“My name is Loki.”

“Anything else?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I don’t think I will. Not today.”

“Ooh, a man of mystery,” Darcy teased. “Is this a ploy to get me to write your name down for tomorrow?”

“Not at all.”

“So you’re a liar?”

“I’m an actor.”

Darcy grinned.

“Now I know two things about you.”

There was a long pause before Loki said,

“I knew I liked you. Be seeing you tomorrow.”

“Don’t count on it, Hollywood.”

A sharp laugh came from the other side of the wall.

“Not that sort of actor, I’m afraid.”

Then the door slammed shut.

“YES!” Darcy punched a fist into the air and turned to the camera in the corner. “He’s it. He’s the one. He’s the fucking one, I’m telling you.”

**.oOo.**

Five down, and Tony hadn’t met anyone he connected with. It was amazing how much people overlooked. He was the world’s most infamous, most profitable inventor. At least, _Tony_ was all over the magazines and gossip sites.

“Anthony.”

Nobody even mentioned it. No, “You sound like Tony Stark.” It was all about the process. Why had he come here? What did he do? All the shit he’d already went through in the intro interview. So he said the same things over and over, just hoping to God that _someone_ would have an interesting question.

Tony heard the sixth person walk into the room on the other side of the wall. A male voice asked,

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Hi! I’m Steve.” The man on the other side seemed to be excited enough for both of them. He huffed a bit as he sat on the couch. “Sorry, I’ve reached the point in life where sitting and standing come with a soundtrack.”

“What are you,” asked Tony, “sixty-five?”

“Thirty-eight, but with fifteen years in the army my joints _feel_ sixty-five.”

“You were in the army?”

“I was, yes. I left five years ago.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Steve laughed.

“Five minutes is not long enough for that story. Goodness, five _years_ has barely been enough.”

That was intriguing. Disconcerting, but Tony definitely wasn’t bored. He wondered,

“What do you do now, then?”

“I teach first grade.”

 _Swoon_.

“That’s ... quite a career change.”

“It is a different kind of service, but I love it. I enjoy art, and when kids are young like that you can use different types of art to teach them almost anything. They are incredibly honest and expect the same out of you.”

“That is definitely something I need more of in my life.”

“Really?” asked Steve. “Why is that?

“My line of work tends to attract the wrong type of people. The kind that put money first and people second.”

“Oh? What do you do?” asked Steve. Then he seemed to realize, “I am so sorry, I was so caught up in you that I forgot to ask for your name.”

_I was so caught up in you._

_Stuck on you before I even knew your name, what you do, or how many AmEx cards you have._

Tony’s heart melted a little. Hope was something he hadn’t allowed himself to have in a long time.

“Anthony,” he said. “My name is Anthony and I’m an inventor.”

“Oh! So you like technology.”

“It’s my entire life. I like making things that make life easier for people.”

“That’s great. I have to admit, I’m not very apt when it comes to technology. It’s one of my biggest insecurities. My students are better with their tablets than I am.”

Tony laughed.

“I’m sure that’s not true. At least you don’t have a flip phone.”

Silence.

The long sort of silence that led Tony to believe Steve had no intent to reply.

“Oh my God, Steve, you have a _flip phone_?!”

“It’s a Jitterbug.”

Tony doubled-over in laughter.

“You’re joking.” He paused to clutch his stomach and catch a breath. “Oh my God, Steve, I’m _wheezing._ I-I can’t!”

“Let it out, I hear it all the time.”

Tony wiped tears from his eyes and asked, “Are you positive you’re not sixty-five?”

Steve laughed.

“I should qualify for the senior citizen breakfast.”

“Did you forget to apply for your AARP card?” asked Tony.

“Truly, though, I _am_ amazed by technology. Things are so inventive, so _helpful_ , but it’s all kind of distant to me. I am more of a hands-on type of guy. Everyone who could need to contact me has my phone number, and that’s really all I care about.”

Tony’s heart did a little jump in his chest. He was falling head-over-heels for a school teacher with a flip phone. Then one of the producers shouted at them.

“HURRY IT UP! YOU’RE AT SIX MINUTES!”

Tony rolled his eyes.

“Look, Steve, I really like you. I’d like to talk to you again tomorrow.”

“I’d really like that, too.”

“See ya then, old-timer!”

Tony heard Steve laugh as he walked out the door on the other side of the wall. He muttered something indiscernable to whomever was entering. They asked,

“Hello?” as the door shut.

Tony frowned.

“Why do you sound familiar to me?”

“Mr. Stark?”

“Barnes?”

“Oh my God, what are you doing here?!”

Tony replied, “I’m the clickbait.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

“How is your arm?”

“The temperature adjustment makes it feel a bit more human. It’s still metal, I know, but when it is the same temperature as the rest of me, it feels more like part of me.”

“Excellent. If there are any issues, tell the producers and I can come over to fix it.”

Barnes laughed.

“So who have you taken a liking to?”

“The man who was in here before you, actually.”

“STEVE?!”

Tony frowned.

“Yes. Do you know him?”

“He’s my best friend. He’s _family._ ”

“Oh. Do you think he’d like me?”

There was a long pause as Barnes considered how to answer.

“Steve doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He is only here because he didn’t want me to do this alone. He is the sort of man who will give anyone a chance as long as they are honest. Steve doesn’t keep up much with the New York social scene. If you don’t mind me saying so, I’m assuming you didn’t tell him you’re, you know, _you._ ”

“No,” Tony admitted, “I didn’t tell him.”

“How much you hint at is up to you. But if you want Steve to trust you, then you have to give just as much as he does.”

“What else can you tell me about him?”

“Without the producers yelling at me?” Barnes chuckled like that was an inside joke Tony wasn’t privy to. “All I can say is that Steve will give whomever he is with his best effort. He deserves just as much in return. He’s ...” Barnes choked up a bit. “He’s the best goddamn friend anyone could ever ask for.”

Tony pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“He sounds too good for me.”

“Look, Mr. Stark, I know you like to help people. Steve’s the same way. Focus on that, and I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

**.oOo.**

Peggy leaned back on the sofa as the twelfth person walked through the door on the other side of the wall. A deep male voice asked,

“Hello?”

“Hello,” Peggy replied. “Have they saved me the best for last?”

“I suppose that is up to you.”

“I suppose it is.” Peggy smiled to herself. “What’s your name?”

“Thor. May I inquire as to yours?”

She couldn’t quite place his accent. It wasn’t English or Australian, perhaps a strange halfway point between the two. For some reason, she wanted to hear him say her name.

“Margaret.”

“Lady Margaret. You seem like a woman who is confident with where she is in life.”

“I try to be prepared.”

“Prepared?”

“Absolutely. For example, right boot.” Peggy pulled out the items she’d stashed inside and tossed them onto the footstool. “Makeup compact, lipstick, and an emery board. Left boot.” She pulled out her remaining stash. “Eyeliner, nail file, and hand sanitizer. I’d fit a book in here if I could.”

Thor laughed; a great, booming sound that made Peggy smile. He said,

“You must have a heart for adventure.”

“I always have."

Thor asked, “Do you travel often?”

“I do. My job is stressful, and I try to get away when I can.”

“I see. Is there somewhere you are still hoping to travel?”

“Ooh.” Peggy thought for a moment then said, “Anywhere I can see the Northern Lights. When I was in the army I travelled to many amazing places, but there is something magical about rainbows in the dark. What about you, any preferred destinations?”

“I have travelled enough for myself. I would go wherever my partner wishes to go. My friends are a rather boisterous lot and it can take a lot out of a voyage. Travelling for me used to be about fun, now I am at a point in life where I would prefer to travel with someone who knows when to be adventurous and when to take time for respite.”

“Ah,” said Peggy, “I see.”

“However, I hail from a nation called Asgard.”

“Apologies, I’ve never heard of it.”

“Most haven’t, but Asgard has the most beautiful architecture. It is very structured, _modern_ , I suppose, and yet also so much natural beauty. My favorite place is a cave in one of our outlying mountains. The view of our central city is unbelievable. I travel to that spot any time I need to be humbled, to remember how great of a nation we are and why I treasure my responsibility to maintain it.”

“Maintain it?” asked Peggy. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh! Of course, I am the crown prince of Asgard. I will ascend to the throne when my father is no longer able to serve.”

“Are you serious?”

There was a brief pause before Thor said,

“Of course. Why would I jest about that?”

“It is only that I would think a prince would be able to find a date rather easily. Then again, I suppose this experience is meant to take that stature out of the equation.”

“Precisely. My parents are pressuring me to find someone to spend life with. I don’t want to make that choice unwisely.”

“I respect that.”

“Well, my lady Margaret, it appears our time is through. Might I see you tomorrow?”

“Count on it, caveman.”

Thor laughed again and Peggy felt herself blush upon hearing the door close. She fanned herself with her notebook.

“Bloody hell, I’m in for it, aren’t I?”

**.oOo.**

Tony spent the afternoon making omelettes. People sat around the bar as he worked, chatting about their time in the pods. Three of the women had gathered on the barstools in front of the stove, each of them terrifying in their own way. Darcy was in a chicken-shaped onesie, and anyone brave enough to wear that on national television was not an enemy Tony wanted to make. She said,

“I think I’m going to fall in love.”

The ballerina introduced herself as Natasha. In his youth, she was exactly the sort of woman Tony would have pursued. She asked,

“Which one did you like?”

“Loki.”

Yeah. _Definitely_ not an enemy to make. Not if she was willing to fall for that crazy bastard.

“He struck me as the one. He’s a quiet sort of crazy and I’m a very loud type of crazy; I think it’ll work. How about you, Peggy?”

“I found two men I liked. The first was Steve.”

Tony nearly flipped the omelette out of the pan. He had a too-tight grip on the spatula; he hadn’t considered the competition. Of course someone else was into Steve. Why wasn’t _everyone_ into Steve?

Peggy Carter was a bombshell. She had an hourglass figure, perfect red lips, and a take no shit aura. Perhaps she was the perfect woman to fit into Steve’s life. No cameras to follow her around, no outrageous fundraisers to attend, no magazine features about every goddamn time they step outside the apartment. They were both former military, both incredible people ... Tony had lost this game in the first inning. He asked,

“Who was the second?”

“Thor. Not sure what sort of name that is, but I love his laugh.” Peggy chewed a bit of her omelette then said, “This is fantastic.”

“What about you, Nat?” asked Darcy. “Is it alright if I call you Nat?”

“Yes.”

“So who did you find?”

“I also found two. James speaks Russian and I quite enjoyed him, he seemed ...” She frowned as she searched for the proper word. “ _Sass_ , I believe. He had sass. Then Clint seemed as if he saw me for who I could be, not just who I am.”

“And you, Tony?” asked Peggy. “Did you find someone?”

He blushed.

“I did.”

“Who was it?”

Tony took a deep breath and admitted, “Steve.”

“Oh.” Peggy nodded. “Go for it. I know I will.”


	3. Group A: Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to push Steve away, Sam might have an unrequited crush on Bucky, and Loki falls in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been edited very much, so I apologize for any errors. I hope this chapter makes you smile.

“Tell us your name and occupation.”

“Loki Odinson, thespian.”

The production assistant said, “Let’s do that again, but this time say ‘actor.’”

“If I say ‘actor’ they’ll think I am in films. Which I am decidedly not.”

“I am sure you can clarify that later.”

“Fine,” huffed Loki. “Loki Odinson, stage performer.”

“For the love of—” The PA cut himself off. “Fine. Tell us why you signed up for the show.”

“Our parents want at least one of their sons to settle down. Get married, that sort of thing. Everyone in the country assumes it will be Thor, and I love nothing more than subverting expectations.”

“Do you believe you will find love here?”

“I’ve already found it.”

“Oh?” asked the PA. “That is fast and ... unexpected.”

“Lady Darcy showed up to our first date dressed like a chicken. That is chaotic energy and self-acceptance. That is perfection.”

**.oOo.**

Thor grinned at the camera in front of him. The production assistant said,

“Tell us your name and occupation.”

“Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard.”

“You don’t look like your brother.”

“He’s adopted, but it does not matter. Family born of blood is one thing, but a family that finds each other? A family that chooses each other? There is power in that as well. We chose Loki and Loki has chosen to consider us his family. He may be difficult but I love him.”

“Interesting,” the PA replied in a way that suggested it was anything but. “Why did you choose to come on the show?”

“I am looking for adventure in the less traditional sense. This felt like the most interesting way to find love.”

“Do you believe you will find love?”

“I have met many interesting people, but I only have heart for one woman.”

“Care to share?”

“Oh! Lady Margaret. She, too, is searching for adventure.”

**.oOo.**

Clint was squatting on the stool.

“Could you please sit on the stool like a normal human?”

“Dude, I work in the circus. ‘Normal’ is the antithesis of the job description.”

“Seriously, Barton, ass on the seat.”

He rolled his eyes but hopped so he was sitting cross-legged on the stool.

“Good enough,” said the PA. “Tell us your name and what you do for a living.”

“Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye. I am a circus performer.”

“Why did you decide to participate in the _Blind Love Experiment_?”

“No rent, no elephant shit, free food. Win / win / win.”

“Do you think you will find love?”

“I am in love with whatever mattresses you guys have on the beds in here. It’s like I’m sleeping on a cloud. Seriously, if they need a spokesperson,” he pantomimed a phone against his ear, “call me.”

**.oOo.**

Bucky smirked at the camera. He’d been so good at this once. The flirting, catching gals or guys with little more than a look. It was one of the things about himself he missed.

“Tell us your name and your career.”

“Bucky Barnes, I manage an animal shelter.”

“Why did you decide to join the _Blind Love Experiment_?”

He shrugged.

“People get really weird about the arm.” Bucky held it up for the camera to see. “Lost my arm in combat, and I’m a guinea pig for Stark Industries testing out artificial limb technology. It’s great, I can still do lots of stuff. I broke a lot of things at first, but it’s almost a part of me now. People seem to be put off by it, though. Then I’ve had people who were way too into it.” He chuckled nervously as those memories drifted by. “Hard pass. I figured if someone gets to know me before they know I have a robotic arm, if they get to know me without the tragedy then I’d have a real shot at landing somebody to spend my time with.”

“Do you believe you will find love here?”

“I do.” Bucky smiled. “I really think there’s a gal here for me.”

**.oOo.**

Steve sat on the stool in front of the green screen and tried to be pleasant. He hated the cameras, hated feeling like some kind of observational experiment. Lab rat. The production assistant looked to be fairly happy. Unsurprising since Steve was the final interview of the day. 

“Tell us your name and occupation.”

“Steve Rogers, first grade teacher.”

“Why did you decide to join _Blind Love Experiment_? _”_

“Buck said he was going to do it, and it’s not like this is the sort of thing you can let your best friend do alone. Bucky’s a smart man, but he’s still reaching back for life before ...” Steve winced. “Before everything happened. I think he needs someone to remind him that life is different now and he needs to be a bit more selective with his heart and his future. Though Buck’d tell you I am _too_ careful.”

“Do you believe you will find love here?”

“You know, yesterday I would’ve said no. After meeting everyone, I think my heart is being pulled in two different directions. Hopefully I choose the right one.”

**.oOo.**

“Everyone!”

Steve heard Christine Everheart’s voice from the living area.

“I have your lists for day two!”

Clint ran into the room, blowing by everyone else. Steve laughed. All twelve participants stood in front of Christine Everheart, anxiously awaiting the reading of the lists. Christine Everheart seemed to personify everything Steve believed about the world of television, trying too hard to project a reality that didn’t exist. She spoke to the contestants as if she was both their friend and somehow had authority over their time in the house. It made his skin crawl.

“First, an announcement. Two contestants on Side B have decided to depart the show. Sue Storm and Reed Richards are no longer participating. Do not be offended if you no longer have them on your list. Now, I will read aloud each of your mutuals.”

“Mutuals?” asked Bucky.

“It is short for ‘mutual attraction,” Pepper Potts replied. “They’re trying to focus on the ‘love’ part of the experiment. Really, though, I think most of us just found friends. Building a community on either side of the wall is paramount, otherwise this is just eHarmony minus the photos. The community aspect is a crucial variable because it creates tension reflective of the real world. Obviously any couple should know what they are getting into before they leave.”

“Clint Barton, you will have time with Natasha.”

Clint pumped his fist in the air and Steve felt tension radiating off Bucky. He really liked that Natalia girl, said there was “something about her that understood.” Steve didn’t know what that meant, other than he would probably be picking up the broken pieces of Bucky’s heart when they left.

“James Barnes, you will split your time between Natasha, Anthony, and Sam.”

Steve raised a curious eyebrow. Bucky wanted to speak to Anthony? And Anthony wanted to speak to Bucky?

“We’ve met before,” Bucky replied. “Just want to make sure he’s not gonna break your heart, Stevie.”

Steve nodded.

“Loki Odinson, you will spend your time today with Darcy.”

Loki grinned. It wasn’t even a manic sort of happy, Loki seemed genuinely pleased to spend time with her. He even dressed nicely. Steve supposed that was pretty respectful, even if she couldn’t see him.

“Steve Rogers, you’re quite the popular man.”

_Anthony. Anthony. Anthony._

_Did Anthony write my name down? He said he would, but what if he had second thoughts? What if Pepper is right and he’s already begun to push me away?_

“You will split your time between Sam, Peggy, and Anthony. Lots of people had you on their lists, but you didn’t choose them on yours.”

Steve shrugged, swallowing his sigh of relief.

“I don’t believe in wasting anyone’s time, ma’am.”

Christine Everheart glared at him and snapped, “I don’t believe in anyone calling me ‘ma’am.’ At any rate, Thor Odinson, you only have one meeting today and it is with Peggy.”

Steve sighed. He liked Thor. Thor was the sort of person who could lighten anyone’s mood just by walking into the room. It stood to reason that Peggy would be interested in Thor. So when Steve walked into his first room of the day, he was delighted to hear a neutral party on the other side.

“Steve?”

“Hi, Sam.”

“Oh, thank God. I need to talk to you.”

Steve plopped onto the sofa, leaned forward toward the wall, and said, “Go for it.”

“I learned to plan ops based on a process of elimination. Compare options and the better one moves forward until you’ve only got the optimal route remaining. I did that with everyone I spoke to yesterday. Barnes was at the bottom every time, but he always seemed like the better option when compared directly to anyone else. So I did that over and over, eliminated everyone until Barnes was all I had left.”

Holy shit.

“I see.” Steve anxiously rubbed his forehead. “You’re interested in Bucky.”

“No,” Sam insisted. Then he reconsidered. “I think I might be. Natasha, though, I like her. She terrifies me, but I really like her. If Barnes likes her, I don’t want to get in the middle of that. And no matter what, I am not going to be anyone’s second choice. I’m not rebound shit. My question for you is, if I go for it, how likely am I to get my heart crushed?”

Steve considered the question.

“Buck really likes Natasha. However, Buck also tends to leap with his heart first and his brain a bit slow behind. She says she’s a ballerina, so she has late-night performances and practice all day. Buck’s got work and then he’ll come home to an empty apartment because his girlfriend is performing until ten. Take into account the traffic from inner Manhattan to Brooklyn, is there any way to make that relationship work?” Steve shrugged. “I don’t see it.”

“Okay.”

“I am trying to say that Buck ... Well, he’s easy on the eyes. Before everything happened in the army, he didn’t have to work hard to get men and women to fall for him. Love came easy, and now that it ain’t coming so easy he will jump at any validation he gets. If it feels like love, Bucky’s gonna pull on it ‘til it breaks.”

“I’m not the type to play hard to get, Steve.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Buck’s fallen in love a lot during the past few years, and he’s going to keep falling. The only problem is that nobody’s been there to catch him. My advice would be to let him know somehow, subtly, that you’re there for him. However it turns out, both of you will know the kind of man you are Sam.”

“That’s good advice.”

“Thank you.”

“Speaking of good advice, you have Anthony melting into a puddle on this side, man. He ain’t saying it out loud, but when Peggy said she was interested in you he burned an omelette.”

Steve laughed.

“So he cooks?”

“He cooks omelettes. My advice for you is to give him a fair chance, Steve. He took one look at Peggy and ... I think in his mind he saw her and thought she’s better for you. I think you’ve gotta let him know that’s not his decision to make. Just my observations from day one.”

“Thank you,” Steve said. And he meant it. Everyone who knew Anthony or had met him was telling him the same thing. Anthony would push him away. 

“Hey, man, thanks for not being weird about Barnes. I didn’t know who else to ask.”

“That you were considerate enough of him to think to ask me says a lot about you, Sam.”

“Well what the hell are you still talking to me for? Go get your man.”

Steve stood up and left the room. He shouted over his shoulder,

“See ya, Sam!”

“Later, Sara Lee!”

One of the production assistants led Steve to door number four. Steve thanked him then stepped inside the room. It was all so strange, walking into a room that looked exactly like the one he left. The difference, of course, was the man on the other side.

“Grandpa Steve!” 

“Hey, Anthony.” Steve was grateful Anthony couldn’t see him blush. Hearing Anthony’s voice made him smile. Made him laugh as he sat on the sofa. “How are you?”

“Great. Fantastic. Overjoyed to be in your presence.”

“How did you know it was me coming through the door?”

“You were the only person on my list besides Barnes, and he already came in for thirty seconds to give me the, ‘Mess this up and it’ll be the worst mistake of your life’ speech.”

Steve felt several emotions in that moment. Pride at having made such a great first impression. Nervousness, because he wanted Anthony to like him. Guilt, even, that Anthony had made a commitment Steve couldn’t reciprocate.

“I know I’m not the only person on your list,” said Anthony, “so there is something I feel I should tell you before we keep going.”

Steve blinked and stared at the glowing blue wall in front of him.

“Okay.”

There was a long pause on the other side. Steve heard Anthony take a deep breath.

“I’m forty-seven.”

“Oh.”

“I understand if the age difference is too much for this to go forward.”

Steve let that linger for a moment. Part of him had hoped the perception of Anthony was wrong. Instead, he began pushing Steve away when their relationship was all of five minutes old. Steve stared at the glowing blue wall in front of him until it went out of focus.

“Could you say something?” Anthony asked. “The only thing worse than sitting here and wondering what you must be thinking, is not being able to see you while you’re thinking it.”

“I have so much I want to say, but I want to ensure I say it so you understand.”

“I’m pretty capable in the understanding department.”

“I don’t doubt that, Anthony, but I can’t see you or how you’re reacting to this, so it is difficult for me to gauge how to proceed. I need a moment.”

“Okay, yeah, a moment. A moment’s fine.”

Steve realized that silence would not be a significant feature of his conversations with Anthony. He glanced down at the ground and leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees.

“In the army, things can be political. They shouldn’t be, but when it comes to promotions and who knows what about who, everything is politics. Before the repeal, there were a lot of people who had their suspicions about me and Bucky. Suspicions they tried to leverage to their advantage. When I left the service, I decided to teach kids because they’re honest. They don’t have much capability for deception. I like when people are up-front with me.”

“Great. I like that, too.”

“Then I need you to tell me whether you truly believe a nine-year age gap is something I would be concerned about, or if you are using it as a way to make me want to choose someone else.”

“Look, Steve, you have a better option. I’m too selfish of a person to let you go on my own, so I was hoping you’d come to the realization and dump me now before things go further.”

“If you want to end this it’s on you. Otherwise, I would like to tell you why I wrote your name down.”

“I am a slut for compliments.”

Deflecting again.

“I teach first grade because kids have so much enthusiasm for everything they love. Every good thing is the best thing in the world. They can be a princess, an astronaut, I had one kid who wanted to make hats. He saw a man in a fancy hat at the deli and loved it so much he decided to make hats for a living when he gets older.” Steve paused to take a breath. “While we only spoke for a few minutes, I got the same sense of things from you. That you chose to be an inventor because it’s what you love to do. I thought that maybe you saw something when you were young and then you _knew_ it was what you wanted to do. You felt it in your bones the way my students do. And ... I like that, Anthony. I have had so much sadness and combat and therapy ... I want to be with someone who sees the joy and wonder in the world because sometimes I can’t see it on my own.”

“Oh.”

Steve repeated, “Oh?”

Anthony revealed, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“Like what?”

“Everyone looks at me and projects what they want to see. They look at me as though, ‘I _think_ he is this thing, so he must be this thing.’ I don’t know if this is different because you’re Steve, or if it’s because you literally can’t see me.”

“If your enthusiasm filters through the walls, I am confident I would have felt it immediately even if I’d seen your face.”

“That’s true.” Anthony laughed. “It was _The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe_ , by the way.”

“What was?”

“I read _The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe_ when I was a kid _._ When the Pevensies walked through the closet into Narnia, I wanted that. I wanted to walk out the front door and see a completely different world. To make that happen, I had to change the world. That’s why I became an inventor.”

Steve smiled.

“Have you invented anything I’d know?”

“Considering that you’ve barely progressed past the telegraph, I don’t think so.”

“That’s fair.” Steve couldn’t stop smiling. He felt so comfortable, so at ease, staring into the blue void. “Sam told me you burned an omelette yesterday.”

“I cook when I’m stressed. I was cooking for hours. It’s an omelette, Steve, relax about it.”

“What caused you stress?”

“This! I signed up for this and thought I might eventually find a connection with a few people. The only person I could think of, after all twelve, was you. I’ve been in love before, Steve, a few times, and every time it’s bitten me in the ass. When I was making omelettes, thinking about you, it was different. I wasn’t thinking about love, I was thinking about you with _conviction_. This certainty that I’ve never had about anyone. It’s terrifying, so when Peggy said she was interested I thought, better nip this in the bud before it hurts worse.”

Steve’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. _Conviction_. It was the one thing Steve was looking for, a steady hand to hold.

“I’m not asking you to stop seeing Peggy. That’s not fair to you, and I want you to do what feels right.”

“What can I do to lessen the stress on you?”

“I don’t know, I’m sort of neurotic about these things. Tell me why none of your previous relationships worked out.”

“You just want to jump into the deep end of the pool?” asked Steve.

“Cannonball.”

“Okay.” Steve leaned back and kicked his feet up onto the footstool. “I’ve only ever had one relationship I’d consider significant. Her name was Elizabeth and she was an FBI agent. It was nice, we were together about five years. She was smart, pretty, the sorta girl my ma would’ve liked. Polite, I mean. Sometimes the things that should work just ... don’t.”

“Why not?”

Steve shrugged.

“Distance, mostly. I was deployed twice, then everything happened with Bucky and I wasn’t the same.”

Anthony asked, “What happened with Barnes?”

“I’m not sure he’d want me to answer that question in front of a buncha cameras.”

“Then take me to the shallow end.”

“Buck and I were in the same unit. A mission went wrong and I ...” Steve swallowed thickly and looked down at the floor, away from the cameras. “I wasn’t fast enough. We lost him— _I_ lost him. So for a few months I was mourning the loss of my best friend, until we got word he was alive. Buck was a POW and I spent every day of two years looking for him. He’d lost his arm, but we’d both lost our understanding of who we were as men. My life was all about finding him and his life was about surviving.”

“Is that why you left?”

“It became pretty clear the army was no longer a fit for me. Buck and I needed to deal with what happened, lots of therapy. Lots. The first year was difficult, but once Stark Industries selected Bucky for their artificial limb trial, it was like there was hope for us again. Buck wouldn’t be held back quite so much.”

“How do you mean?”

“Bucky was handling two demons at once. He was coping with everything that happened to him during the years he was held captive _and_ learning how to do everything with one arm. Life had no resemblance to what he knew, and getting a new arm began to alleviate one burden just a little bit; enough for him to concentrate on healing himself internally. Mr. Stark helped save his life, and I am forever grateful for that.”

Silence.

“You’re an inventor, have you ever met him?”

“Who?”

“Mr. Stark.”

“Oh!” Anthony choked out a laugh. “Yeah, um, yes. We’ve ... met.”

“Must be awkward; I feel very protective over my name when I meet another Steve.”

“Wasn’t much of an issue.”

“I see. How about you, then? What was your best relationship like?”

“You’ve met her. It’s Pep.”

“Pepper?”

“Yes. We worked together for awhile and that’s how we met. She’s great. _Too_ great.”

“She warned me about you,” replied Steve, “told me you would try to push me away. Hit the nail a little too hard on the head.”

“Pep does that. She knows me better than just about anyone, and that’s part of the reason we broke up. That and the alcohol. And the partying. Narcissistic tendencies was the official assessment, but I was under the impression narcissists like themselves. Guess I never got that memo.”

“That is a lot to process.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve been in therapy longer than you. But I will say I loved Pep and she was the closest I’ve been to truly settling down. It is difficult to love someone when you can see your relationship is holding them back. She never felt that way, but I resented myself for keeping her from reaching her goals.”

“I am sure it wasn’t your fault.”

Anthony laughed and said, “Now you sound like my therapist. It was my fault, though. We grew apart and so one day I made her an omelette and we agreed to end things. She’s happy and successful while I’m doing what I love to do.”

“What I’m hearing from you is that I never want you to make me an omelette.”

“Only sunny-side up for you, LifeAlert.”

**.oOo.**

“Hello, Lady Darcy.”

“How many people did you put on your list?”

Her voice seemed to reverberate throughout the room and it made Loki blush a bit. He settled onto the couch and oriented himself toward the glowing blue screen.

“You are asking how many people I requested to speak with today?”

“Yes.”

“Only one.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

“Not at all.”

“Right.” Darcy took a deep breath then began to speak very rapidly. “I know I’ve only spoken to you for about five minutes, but I really like you. Like, too much for someone who’s only heard you speak about twenty words. But before this goes any further I want to tell you all the ridiculous things about me so that if you find enough you don’t like, we’ll end this before we go too far.”

“Anything you could tell me, Darcy, is nothing in comparison to the incredulity of my life. But I am rather looking forward to hearing you try to match it.”

“Oh?” asked Darcy. “We’re competing now?”

Loki teased, “Perhaps.”

“How’s this for ridiculous? I got my undergrad degree in political science, a master’s in public policy, and a doctorate in astrophysics.”

“That is ... quite the career change.”

“I was out with this guy while I was getting my master’s and he said to me, ‘Public Policy seems like you.’ I asked what he meant by that and he said, ‘Clearly you’re into the humanities, simple stuff, not, like, astrophysics.’ So I walked away and began studying astrophysics because space is cool and if I didn’t do it, that guy’s voice would be in my head forever.”

Loki felt his cheeks warm up. Good God, this woman was incredible.

“You studied astrophysics because some arsehole said you couldn’t?”

“Basically. But I like space! I took astronomy courses in undergrad and I’m decent at math. Everything in science begins with a simple question. I started out with something really simple: if I want to know how far away a star is, how would I figure it out?”

“I have no idea.”

“We measure the angle of the star from Earth at one time, then we measure the angle from Earth to the star six months later at the opposite point in the orbit. Then you calculate the shift in the angle based on the distance you know Earth has travelled from the original point. From there it’s basic Pythagorean Theorem shit. I had more questions and there was almost always a way to answer them. So, really, I should thank that fuckboy for pushing me toward a dream I never realized I had.”

“Right.” Loki kicked his feet up onto the footstool. “And now you work for Congress?”

“Yes.”

“How did that happen?”

“I was hired as an expert for the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology. That’s where I met the congressman, and when I completed my doctorate he hired me as chief of staff.”

“To recap, you originally wanted a degree in politics. Even went so far as to get a master’s degree in policy. Then one man insulted you and you decided to prove him wrong by getting a PhD in a field completely unrelated to what you previously studied.”

“I wouldn’t say _completely_ —”

“You were hired by a congressional committee, and then hired by a congressman because of the very degree that moron pushed you into.”

“That’s an abbreviated version of what happened,” Darcy replied, “but yeah. I mean mostly, that’s what happened.”

“Fascinating.” Loki shook his head. “You, Darcy, are absolutely fascinating.”

“It’s Dr. Darcy to you, mister.”

“Dr. Darcy, then.”

“Tell me about you. It’s been bugging me for the past day, you said you’re not ‘that sort of actor.’ What did you mean by that?”

“I am exclusively a stage performer. I don’t do television or film.”

“Why?” asked Darcy. “Seems a lot less lucrative.”

“Well I am not exactly hurting for money.”

“Oh?”

“Live performances change each night. Film and television, it is the same thing over and over, so repetitive take after take until you drop it and never inhabit that part of the story again. Theatre is one take every night, reacting to the audience and to whatever mistakes may happen. The pandemonium between scenes, quick changes, it is controlled chaos. God, I love it.”

“Are you any good?”

“Yes,” Loki replied without hesitation. “Quite.”

“What is your favorite play you’ve done?”

“Oh.” Loki hummed to himself and flitted through various memories. “There have been some interesting roles. I played Desdemona in an all-male production of _Othello_. I did Corny Collins in _Hairspray_ , the prince in _Cinderella_ , and Judas in _Jesus Christ Superstar_. Those were all fun and challenging in their own ways, but my favourite? God, I wish I could say _Hamlet_ or _Coriolanus_ , something tragic and Shakespearean to impress you.”

Darcy admitted, “You had me at Corny Collins.”

Loki laughed.

“My favourite play I have ever done was _Forbidden Broadway_ at the Vaudeville Theatre. I had such fun. It was parodies of popular show tunes and I enjoyed making people laugh. Nobody looks at me and thinks comedy, and I love subverting expectations.”

“Consider me subverted.”

Loki heard Darcy laugh. He smiled, no one had ever asked him about his favorite production before. Loki never believed falling in love would be so easy, but it could be mere feet away on the opposite side of an otherworldly wall. Darcy asked,

“You like musicals?”

“I like everything unexpected.”

“Speaking of unexpected, I have five questions I wanted to ask all my dates to make sure they’re not crazy and we’re compatible. Since you are my only date—”

“Is that because I am the only one you want?”

Darcy sang, “You’re the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh, honey!”

Loki glanced up toward the ceiling as if to thank the heavens for having sent him to this reality show.

“First off, what do you do for fun?”

“Fun?” asked Loki. “You mean hobbies?”

“Yes.”

“I like to read. I run—”

“Oh, God, you’re athletic?” Darcy scoffed. “Strike one. I don’t date anybody with better legs than me.”

Loki laughed and asked, “What do you do for fun, Lady Darcy?”

“I don’t have time for fun. I’m on call at least eighty hours each week. Somebody always wants something, and everything goes through me before it gets to the congressman. Fun for me is getting to spend an evening by myself with a jumbo bag of popcorn and the romantic comedies section of Netflix. Second question: what happens when you get angry?”

“When I get angry? Nothing good. I was very violent in my youth; after I found out I was adopted I lashed out at everyone.”

“Why?”

“Because I felt my family had lied to me. My brother didn’t know, but my parents ...” Loki winced. “I made a mess of things and ran away to become an actor. Typical rebellion, I suppose, but once I was out of the country and realized violent fits of anger wouldn’t get me anywhere I learned to control it. Anger can be productive if you use it as fuel, much like you did pursuing your education. I taught myself to be strategic about it.”

“If I made you angry,” asked Darcy, “what would you do to me?”

“Nothing. I would remove myself from the conversation until I was rational enough to continue. I have the habit of saying things I regret, things that are untrue. Or I speak truths better left unspoken. It was years before I saw my family again once I left. If I were to pursue a serious relationship, I would do it properly. My parents and I are amicable. Obviously Thor and I are fairly close, though I find his enthusiasm for everything quite exhausting. Those relationships will never be what they were because of what I did. I would never want to ruin your trust that way.”

There was a long silence on the other side of the wall. Loki listened as Darcy rapidly clicked her pen.

“Honestly, I wasn’t expecting such a nuanced answer.”

“I like tricks and illusions, Darcy, not lies. If you are truthful with me, I will be the same to you.”

“Good, then. So you know, when I get angry I go scream into a pillow. I keep a pillow in my office in case of anger emergencies. Frequent occurrence on the Hill.”

Loki chuckled.

“Third question is about your relationship to your parents, but I guess you’ve already answered that. Mine are dead, so don’t bother asking. Normal suburban childhood, nothing tragic, just time. Which, I suppose, is tragic by definition. Fourth question: whose cell phone numbers do you have memorized?”

“My mother’s, Thor’s, and Heimdall’s. He is our head of security.”

Darcy wondered, “Are you close with your mom?”

“We were once. I don’t know if we will ever be so close again. If there is one thing I want in life, it is to make her proud of me.”

“My mom used to say that if I was proud of what I had done in life, she would be proud of me, too.”

“I have only known you one day, and I am proud of you.”

“Oh, stop.”

“Truly, you have dedicated your life to asking questions and finding the answers. I find that incredible.”

“Oh, fuck. That was a really nice thing to say. You know, I really wanted to find something about you I didn’t like. Tell me something about you that makes me want you less.”

Loki shrugged.

“I hate cats.”

“Right. I can work with that.”

“Then what is the fifth question?”

“Does it even matter? I knew you were the right one. I want to spend my time with you, Loki, because I like you.”

Loki felt his cheeks warm up again. Damn, he had never blushed this much. Thank God she couldn’t see him.

“I like you, too, Dr. Darcy.”

“Good. So ... That’s good.”

Loki asked, “What are you wearing today? I am thinking it must be a dinosaur.”

“Sorry to disappoint, today is just a t-shirt and jeans kind of day.”

“What does it say on your t-shirt?”

Silence. Loki listened to Darcy shift on the sofa, but she didn’t say a word.

“Darcy?”

“Yeah?”

“What does it say on your t-shirt?”

Darcy sighed heavily and replied, “It says ‘I Put the ‘Ass’ in Astrophysics.’”

And that was the moment Loki knew he was in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ I hope y'all are happy and healthy.


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